My thoughts and feelings have run the gammut this week, and I'm ok with that. They have to. I'm trying to focus on studying and trying to stay on top of household chores, but I have trouble focusing on the studying. It's hard to study when you can't remember what you're supposed to be studying and why, and I end up reading and looking up terms/abbreviations I've already forgotten most of the time. Then I read job postings for polysomnography technicians and trainees (sleep techs) and my heart is in my throat because they want someone who has done a two-year respiratory course or at least 9 months of experience. I'm caught in that age-old vicious circle: Everyone wants someone with experience, but how do I get experience if no one will hire me? So I'm still waiting on the call from the local hospital and hoping for the best, and next week I'll try to branch out and send my letter and resume to a few more places within a small radius.
I balanced my checkbook yesterday and wrote down all the bills I was going to pay. I honestly, seriously, totally and completely do not understand where my "husband" thinks he will get money for another car and an apartment. I mean, I may have $700 left over after bills today (which is really a LOT compared to normal), but that's not including gas, groceries, various household things like laundry soap and fabric softener, dance class and costume fees, the upcoming car insurance, and yeah, the makeup I need. I know that sounds petty and vain, but dammit, I need eyeliner and foundation and I have sensitive skin and can't just use cheap Cover Girl stuff from Walmart, and I refuse to walk around all splotchy and scarred because I can't afford any. We have one tube of toothpaste for 3 people and the kids both need new toothbrushes (please tell me, WHEN did toothbrushes get so expensive??). The car needs a tune up. We need a new furnace filter. So you see that the extra $700 is easily dwindled down to maybe $200, and that's not including whatever he will decide he thinks he can afford, like eating out and going to the movies, because that's what he always does. So really, if that becomes the norm, he may realistically end up with $400 a month. Unless he's planning to get an apartment and a car in 1972, he's screwed.
As long as he provides for what you and the kids need first don't worry about where he'll get money for an apt or another car!! Where there's a will, there's a way. He wanted out, so he got it. He'll have to figure out a way to achieve it on his own.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Now is the time to be selfish. Concentrate on what YOU need.
ReplyDelete